The Real World

It’s that time of the year when thousands and thousands of individuals are getting ready to put on their caps & gowns. They are online shopping for their new and exclusive suits and dresses that will somehow show all of the work they’ve endured. They are taking the infamous “I’m done” instagram photos in front of their school’s seal. They are sending out graduation invitations to family members and friends so that everyone can be aware of their accomplishments. They’ve painted their graduations caps to say, “the marathon continues” because they know this is the beginning of bigger and better as soon as they walk across that stage. With a sense of pure excitement and a confusing feeling of relief, the upcoming graduates are sitting in their assigned seats in auditoriums and arenas around the nation as they wait for the Dean of their college to call their name…hoping that their family doesn’t embarrass them too much. As their row is called to line up next to the stage, the finish line seems to be closer than ever. As they prepare for their name to be called this rush of excitement begins to boil all over their body. Before they can even process what’s happening they are on stage walking across as the dean barely pronounces their name properly, while listening to family members scream those unwanted nicknames that have somehow followed them into adulthood. The moment feels beautiful in so may ways and the congratulatory cards filled with cash and free dinner immediately afterwards is only the icing on the cake. 

Fast forward two weeks later, most of those joyous graduates are sitting on mom’s couch trying to figure out why their phone isn’t ringing off the hook with employers begging them to come work for their fortune 500 company. Everyone around them is telling them to enjoy this down time because you won’t get summer and spring breaks in the real world! After hearing that same line one too many times, a feeling of annoyance begins to creep into their emotions. Their whole life they’ve had people and so called “grown ups” talk about this real world like it was the adult version of Disney Land…just nowhere near as fun. You hear it so much that you just know this real world must have some type of entrance that would let you know you’ve finally entered. For these same students though, they’ve been taught if you go to school, get good grades, go to a good college and maybe one day get a piece of paper that sums up 120+ credit hours of work, stress, finesse, and debt that maybe it would be their ticket into this magical land. After all of that though, they end up back in the same room they were in before they left for college.

I didn’t get a chance to fully experience all of this because I was blessed with an opportunity the night before graduation to get a hint into the working world, however, my entire last semester of college was spent applying for jobs and collecting rejection letters. I just knew that I would be back on mom’s couch as well and I actually was after my stint in Atlanta going through the exact same thing over again. I almost felt cheated because I’d accomplished what everyone told me would get me where I needed to be, yet I felt like no progress was being made. I was also annoyed because I knew what I wanted to do (photo/video/graphic design) but I didn’t feel like my degree prepared me for any of that. The jobs that I’d started applying for by this time weren’t dream jobs but were anything that would get me off of the couch. Looking back on this time it almost seemed as if I just wanted to prove to myself that I was finally ready to face the real world head-on. With the amount of pressure and doubt that was racing through my head at the time, it’s crazy to think I was that hard on myself. If I could go back to 2016 right before graduation I would tell myself to remain patient and to drop my expectations of the real world because I was already living in it!

I’ve found myself in several points of life trying to fast forward to what I thought was a finish line and college is a perfect example of this. My last semester of college was setup super smooth. Thankfully I’d taken all of my core classes and only needed six credits of electives to graduate. I still took twelve hours as a requirement to receive my scholarships but those hours consisted of History of Rock, History of Jazz, Film Studies, Walking, Weight Lifting, and Golf! I took full advantage of the light course load and spent majority of my time working at the library, working three different internships, and pushing my photography business like never before. The reason behind all of that was me trying to prepare for “The Real World.” I was trying to get as much on my resume as possible as well as save as much money as I could because I had no idea what I’d be getting myself into financially after college. Most of my stress at that time was filled with looking for jobs, applying for jobs, and getting rejected from jobs. I’ve never really been scared of failure, but it’s more so motivated me to push myself harder. With each rejection I’d find more jobs to apply to than the day before. Looking back I realized that every job I was rejected from definitely wasn’t for me at the time. All those rejection letters and all the stress that came along with it was simply relieved by an opportunity that I didn’t even have to apply for. Getting an opportunity to work in the film industry the night before graduation showed me that you can’t force what’s meant for you and you definitely can’t stress over what’s not. Of course that’s easier said than done, but it’s all about having patience. I knew deep down somewhere even on my toughest days that I was trying my best and doing what I was supposed to be doing...if I would have just added that same energy to patience instead of stress, I’m sure I would have enjoyed my senior year of college a lot more than I did (senior year was still a good 8 out of 10 though). 

Along with being impatient I realized that I was also living in a realm of expectations one could say. In my head I’d checked off everything on the to do list of a 22 year old. I’d had several internships, I was graduating with a pretty decent GPA, and I’d even created a personal portfolio that I was proud of. Initially I was under the impression that I was doing all of this because that was needed to get a job in the real world and to be successful. I wouldn’t say it was an arrogance sense of expectations but more so a conditioned idea that I’d heard for so long. Hearing everyone tell me if you go to college, get internships, graduate with a good GPA you’d land a good job so I came to believe that.

  I recently heard a quote that said “when you’re busy making plans, that’s when life is happening.” That quote was a literal depiction of what was happening in that time of my life. I was so busy planning what I was supposed to be doing at a certain time in life that I wasn’t actually living the life in front of me. I realized that a lot of times we make up situations and expectations in our heads that are so overly saturated and vivid that when the picture of life isn’t showing us what we want to see we resist it. It’s great to plan ahead and to be ambitious not only in your career, but in everything you do. However, if you’re not riding the wave of life none of that matters. I didn’t land the job I have now because I simply have a degree, but because I simply never stopped trying. 

I’ve watched a few friends of mine recently graduate with Bachelor Degrees and even Master Degrees and seeing the confusion, anxiety, and the stress that comes after college made me realize that I wasn’t the only one going through what I was going through in 2016. Everyone is different and on their own path, but for me, dropping the wild expectations and picking up a little more patience goes a long way. With no expectations and patience, the “Real World” becomes my Disney World. No expectations means I can go with the flow of everything around me which helps me make better decisions on how I want to guide my life while having a little patience will make even standing in the long lines a lot of fun! Congrats to everyone who has ever walked across a stage and is still pushing and trying. That journey is something that can never be taken away from you, but remember that whatever job you get afterwards will never be able to sum YOU up, but the journey to get where you’re going will!

Live with Love…

B.J. Crawford