The Hussle
The Hussle
Last Sunday I was sitting on the couch watching t.v. when my phone vibrated. It was a text message in a group chat that I have with my brothers. The message read, “Yall Nipsey just got shot...” I knew immediately that they were referring to Nipsey Hussle. However, I never listened to his music or followed much of what he was about. About an hour fifteen minutes later, I was heading to the movies to see Captain Marvel when another text came through saying, “Yeah they just confirmed it…damn.” A weird feeling came over me that I couldn’t begin to explain. I can’t say I was sad or even mad, but I just felt heavy. Again, I’d never really listened to his music and I hardly knew anything about him, but I felt a weird pull that I couldn’t explain. Of course I don’t want to hear that anyone is shot or killed, but this just hit me in a place that I was struggling to understand.
The past couple of months I’ve been in a very…blissful state. I’ve focused on the things that make me happy now instead of placing my energy into anything that isn’t happiness. The next morning when I woke up I felt different. I still felt a sense of calmness, but I felt heavier. The entire work day I was a little more quiet and reserved, but I couldn’t put a finger on exactly why. I remember getting on social media and all I saw was hashtag RIPNIPSEY. I clicked on a few posts that had somewhat recent interviews with Nipsey and with each one, I could feel gravity getting heavier. Again though, this heaviness wasn’t anything I was trying to neglect, and it didn’t take me to a place of sadness or fear… I still couldn’t fully explain it though, and I kept asking myself why am I feeling like this. On the way home I listened to his last album, Victory Lap. My brother T.B. sent it to me when it first came out and told me that I’d like it but somehow I never pressed play. The first song instantly grabbed my full attention. I felt like every word related to me in some way.
What instantly became clear to me was that Nipsey Hussle was a genuine brother. I could feel that he was way more than a rapper, but a whole hearted being who was following his life’s purpose. I realized what he stood for and that he stood strong in that. Driving home listening to that first song made me realize that the heaviness that I’d been feeling but couldn’t explain wasn’t pain; it wasn’t anger; it wasn’t sadness; but it was this man’s energy. A energy that preached standing in your truths, community, prosperity, happiness, and collectiveness. It was an energy that I felt I could completely align with. I believe his energy felt heavy because it’s one that I have to pick up and carry on. I hardly knew anything about this man but in this short time I could not only see, but more importantly, feel what he stood for.
I can admire anyone who promotes, exercises, and teaches positivity. From what I could tell, that’s all Nipsey was about. One of the first interviews I saw of him, a reporter asked him to finish her sentence… she followed that by saying I have a dream… Nipsey’s response was, “for our people to step into their greatness collectively.” As unfortunate as it is that this man’s life was taken, I believe with every piece of positivity in me that his life, his energy will set a spark to the dream of OUR people to step into their greatness.
Just last night I was talking to a brother of mine who is deep into the media field. We were catching up with each other and Nipsey came into the conversation. I brought up the quote that I’d heard Nipsey say about his dream for our people and how that resonated with me so deeply. His response seemed to agree with that but also seemed worried. He explained that we as a people have to care about every other shooting, every other murder in the hood the same way we did with Nipsey’s. He threw in the true but hypothetical situations of all the teenage murder cases that pass by on the five o’clock news as if it's already built into the news stations’ programming. I agreed with every bit of what he was explaining, but I told him that my perspective of why Nipsey’s death hit the community so hard is because Nipsey was and still is a teacher. He was teaching and living in a positive light for all of the brothers and sisters, young and old in his community to see. I mentioned that a lot of times those “hypothetical” teenagers in the hood just don’t know. They have no idea of an alternate route and a lot of times are just lost. Nipsey was sharing his knowledge through his music, his actions, his interviews, and genuinely through himself. It almost feels weird writing these things because I didn’t know him and hadn’t even given his music a shot until his death, but everything I’ve seen and heard shows me that this man was giving his community and his people a positive template of what could be done.
I believe when we start teaching and sharing our knowledge of life among each other, the negative hypothetical situations won’t even exist. The breaking news in the afternoon won’t be murders in our neighborhood, but awareness, respect, and happiness for all of the beauty that we will create and grow into. Through all of the reports and interviews about Nipsey in the last weeks, I heard one quote that stuck with me… “Your death is the megaphone to your life’s work.” Nipsey’s megaphone is sounding loudly all across this nation and with a beautiful tone to it. I just hope that people listen carefully.
Live with LOVE…
B.J. Crawford
